A Root of My Life...

It all started off as a innocent conversation with my good friend Josh Segalla and it ended up being one of the biggest spiritual learning moments of my life.
We were simply catching up on life and hearing about how each others summers had gone and then somewhere amidst all the small talk our conversation switched over to this deep thought (which is actually a thought by a theologian who lived a long time ago) that pride is the root of all evil and sin.
I'll repeat that...  

Pride is the root of evil and sin.

It sounds like this simple concept and idea. In fact, it may be a no brainier for those of us in Bible college.
You're probably actually thinking "Joe! why is this your big learning moment?"
Because it started to dawn on me through our conversation that my whole life has been built upon pride... and not just any pride...it has been my own pride...
The Bible says that our good deeds are seen as filthy rags in God's eyes (Isaiah 64:6) and I wonder if all of my "good deeds" have been the offspring of my pride...
I've been starting to question myself and everything I do...

Do I do good things for others because I love God so much and it's a service I want to do because I love God first?
Or, do I do good things for others because I want to feel better about myself?
Or, just because I know it's the right thing to do? Or, because I think if I don't then I am a bad Christian?

I also started questioning my relationship with God...has that been based on pride this whole time? Do I pray to God because I want something out of it?
Because I want to feel better about my day?
Because I just want to check it off my list of things to do each day?
Or, do I pray because I love God so much that I can't help but talk to Him?
I can't help but listen to Him?
Do I read my Bible because I want to find something for my own personal gain?
Or, because I love God so much that I can't help but soak in His words?

These are just questions that have been running through my mind
...and I'm just being transparent...
I don't feel that I wrote this post out of pride...
I'm not trying to gain anything from this, but I hope to simply pass this on to others and get believers thinking about their motives...

Joe

Oh Boy!

Looking ahead at life and the big moments that are expected to happen within this next year I get kind of worried.
I'm not gonna lie.
There are some huge decisions and events that are going to take place by this time next year.
I'm sure there will be ups and downs along the way.
But just thinking about it all makes me anxious and somewhat stressed.
I try not to be a stressed out guy, but there are sure a lot of things that might and probably will happen sooner rather than later.

All of these things (graduating, working a "real" job, finding that "real" job, possibly marriage, oh! and don't forget the internship that I don't have lined up) were weighing heavy on my mind today.

But then I started remembering all the Scripture that I feed everyone I know who gets worried: Romans 8:28, Philippians 4:6, and Hebrews 13:8.

So no matter what "big" things are about to happen I know that my God will be in control.
He has it all figured out, even though I don't.
I have to keep on telling myself that I must decrease and He must increase. (Jn. 3:31)

Just Can't Pinpoint It....

Sometimes I wonder if I am doing something wrong because it seems that in this season of my life I am not "growing"...Spiritual growth I mean.
I've been reflecting on the last week, month, and year and for some reason I can not find a "measurement" of some sort of Spiritual growth.
It simply seems to not exist.
Does that mean I am not growing?
Have I grown stale? Apathetic?

But as I write this I start to wonder if maybe the reason for this stunted growth is because I have been without a true fellowship with a community of believers for the last year.
Since the community group that I once shared my life with has diminished it seems that my growth has gone down a pit.
And with that community group went genuine service I feel like. Since that group it seems that my service that I try and offer the world has been self centered and does not come from a genuine love for people.

These are just some thoughts that have been running through my mind the last couple of days.
just thought i'd share my honesty.

The Cycle of My Life

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like life is a crazy cycle/rotation hybrid thing....Let me explain :)

I am sure this has been happening for a long time now, but I am just now realizing that my life seems to repeat itself....
Here's usually how it seems to rotate...

Life stinks.
Things start to get better.
Life goes great.
Things start to get worse.
Life stinks.

And on top of all of that I can sense that all of life's ups and downs depend on my dependency towards God.

Life stinks = trying to do things on my own power
Things start to get better = breakdown and realize I need Him
Life goes great = depending on God and living for Him
Things start to get worse = lose dependency on God
Life stinks....

So as I am meditating on God's Word and doing my best to pray through life I am finally figuring out that life can not be done on my own power or done with my agenda.

Lord help me!
I am a prideful man and I need Your help to just not be so prideful.
Thank You for always being in control.
Your way is always the best way. Help me to understand that fully.

Am I Dependent?

We are not saying that we can do this work ourselves. It is God who makes us able to do all that we do
2 Corinthians 3:5

"I am trying", I can't tell you how many times i've heard those words come out of my mouth or the mouths of others.
I'm trying to work on ____________ (fill in the blank).
I'm sure we all could fit something specific into that blank.
I know I have been trying to work on my pride.
It's been tough, that's for sure. I feel like I'm not really making any progress toward becoming more humble most days.
Tonight I was reminded, by my good friend Andrew, that we were not created to be independent. We were made to be totally dependent; on God first and others second.
That was like a dagger to my heart! That is so deep!
I started digging around looking for a good definition of being 'dependent'...
Dictionary.com puts it this way...
"relying on someone or something else for aid, support, etc."
I wonder if my pride issue needs more than just my "efforts" but it goes back to being dependent on God to help me through this.I wonder if I need to simply rely on Him more. It sounds so easy, but it is so tough for me to do.
I can't do it alone! Which is tough for me to swallow because I like to think I have everything under control...when I really don't.

I end this post asking...
Am I Dependent?
Are you Dependent?
Are we Dependent?

What we don't need to do...

"God doesn’t want us to come to him perfect."

This is a quote form Ed Cyzewski and his blog titled "In A Mirror Dimly" ( http://inamirrordimly.com/ )

To think that God doesn't expect me nor want me to come to Him in a perfect manner makes me smile.
I have always struggled with that...
I struggle with the thoughts of how imperfect I am and how God can't use me in this imperfect body.
I struggle with thoughts that because I am imperfect, not even close to perfection actually, God wont hear my prayers...
I worry that God wont help me...
I start to fall for the lie that I am worth less because I sin and I struggle...

I am not perfect

I will never be perfect

But I am covered

God doesn't see my sin anymore

He sees a young man blameless in His sight

Maybe I'll always struggle with these thoughts
These thoughts of how my imperfections can bring me down
Maybe you struggle with these same thoughts...

I want to end this post with a quote and some promises from the Word...

Your sin does not disqualify your worship - Chris Durso

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day - 2 Cor. 4:16

Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God - 2 Cor. 3:5

But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ. - Ephesians 2:4-5

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. - Galatians 2:20

A Praise then a Curse...

“Hosanna!”
“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”
“Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David!”
“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

Mark 11:9-10 are verses used to describe what the Jewish people were saying to Jesus as He entered Jerusalem to die.

And the word "Hosanna" literally means "Save us! Please!"
The Jewish people were praising Jesus on that particular Sunday but by the end of the week they were the ones saying "Crucify Him!!"

They were praising Him and then cursing Him...all in the same week!

Don't we do the same thing sometimes???

We go to a Church service on Sunday, sing songs of praise to God about how He is holy and how we love Him, but then even before the week is over we find ourselves cursing God.
Maybe we don't curse God verbally, but maybe we are curing at Him with our life choices.
On Sunday's we sing and pray "Take it all God! We surrender!" but then we find our lives saying
"Hold on God! I don't want to do that!"
"I don't want to go talk to that person!"
"I don't want to become friends with that homeless man!"
"I don't want to die to myself!"
"God I just want to live life the way I think is best!"

I know I struggle with this...maybe you do too
I have a feeling we are not alone though...

Lets change the persona that Christians are hypocrites!
Because it's true...we are!
We give God a praise one moment and then live a life that is a curse toward our God..

Go!
Live life expecting not to live in comfort, because no one said dying to yourself would be easy!!

Going vs. Being...

This morning I did not attend a church!
I know!
I'm a horrible person because I didn't go on a Sunday morning (I am going to worship with a Church Body tonight downtown though, so don't worry too much)

As I search my favorite social networks (Facebook and Twitter) I notice that a lot of my friends post things like "Loved Church today!" or "Going to church" or "Great message at Church today"....
I don't think there is anything wrong with loving Church, or even loving the message God used at Church that day....
but I wonder if we are getting caught up with putting more value on going to church and singing the right songs at church instead of being the church???
Let me explain...
First off, when I say Church I do not mean a building we go to to sing songs and hear a message. When I say Church I mean the Body of Christ. It is people, not a place.

With that cleared up I now start to wonder if we are starting to put more emphasis on our doing (i.e. going to church and being a regular attender) than our being?
Do we find ourselves worrying more about which Church we will attend each Sunday or Saturday or do we find ourselves focusing more on how we can be a better Church?

I do believe that God wants us to be in fellowship with other believers and He does want us to be worshiping with other believers on a regular basis.
But I also believe that God is more concerned about your being more than our doing.

Maybe this is where a lot of us have gone wrong!?
Maybe we have got caught up focusing on doing the right thing all the time and doing the things we have always done and have lost sight of what it looks like to BE a follower of Jesus Christ!

Because in all honesty I believe that these local Church Bodies that are "middle class, white, comfortable, give only 10%" are not what Jesus intended when He said, "Follow Me, die to yourself, love your neighbor!"

I'm probably the last person who should be writing about this because I need to work on BEING the Church just as much as the rest of us.

But may we find ourselves starting to live out the mission of Jesus Christ instead of just singing songs about it and memorizing verses on it.



(Scripture that really got me thinking about this whole Going vs. Doing)
Acts 1:8
Acts 2:44-47
John 21:22
John 15:12
John 3:30
Luke 17:33
Luke 17:21
Luke 16:15
Luke 12:31
Luke 9:23-24
Luke 5:28
Mark 16:15
Mark 12:30-31
Mark 10:43
Mark 10:21
Mark 9:35
Mark 8:34-36
Matthew 28:19
Matthew 23:11-12
Matthew 10:39
Matthew 9:11-13
Matthew 6:33
Matthew 5:16

New Neighbors Have Moved In...

On Thursday I will be giving a message in class, and it's a message that God has really laid on my heart this year, even though we're just two months in :)

It's this idea of loving our neighbor - and I'm going to be referencing the story of the Good Samaritan in my message. I did a research paper on the parable of the Good Samaritan last semester and after I finished that paper I now have a greater understanding of what God was trying to say to his audience with this parable.

Skip forward to the present time now and here I am sitting at Kava House prepping for this message that is two days away.

I'm sitting here thinking about the word love and the word neighbor and what Jesus meant when He says we are to love our neighbor.
Questions immediately fill my mind...
Do we love our neighbors?
Who is our neighbor?

As I keep on meditating over the passage and trying to understand what Jesus was trying to say to that culture I come to the conclusion that
A Neighbor Is Anyone Who Is In Need.

So now that I have this new understanding of who my neighbor really is it starts to sink in that when Jesus says we are to "love our neighbor as ourself"(Matt. 19:19, 22:39; Mark 12:31,33)
We are called to help everyone who is in need!
Jesus isn't calling us to just love those who think, look and believe like us.
He is calling us to love everyone.
Like the Samaritan did.

So now more questions arise...
are we going to love with no boundaries, like the Samaritan?
Or are we going to try to make excuses and try to justify ourselves and not love those who are in need?

...A Good Book...

So far on my winter break from school I have been reading The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne; I am only 3 chapters through it and it is already blowing my mind.

No lie, what Claiborne has been talking about in his book has been dead on with where I feel God leading me in my spiritual walk lately...

He has shared how when he was in college, much like myself, he had this struggle with how church was being done and did not agree with most of what he saw in traditional churches, much like myself.

In the latest chapter that I read he talks a lot about how we, as Christians, are now the Christ to the world, which has been on the forefront of my mind as well.

The verse that really stands out to me with this idea of literally being Christ to the world is Galatians 2:20
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
What if we lived out this verse in our lives??
Every day??
What if we simply just believed this verse??
Wow!

Green Pastuers Vacation...day one

I'm calling it Green Pasture Vacation because of it reminds me of Psalm 23 and how in Psalms 23 it says, "The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in GREEN PASTURES"
when i hear the words green pastures i think of when I was growing up and my family had some cattle (cows) and whenever we would let the cows have more field to eat from they would roll around and eat and sleep and never leave their new pasture spot. And it always seemed that whenever we would allow them out there they would gain some extra weight as well.
That is what i hope will happen for my heart this trip.
I hope that this trip is going to bring some extra food to my spiritual life...I NEED IT!
I don't necessarily need to gain physical weight but i am in desperate need of some extra spiritual weight.

the first day on the trip that I'm calling "Green Pasture Vacation" has been a restful one thus far...
yesterday was the long van ride to Nashville...i filled most of that time up with some extra sleep as ricky had a good time annoying Mark...

Today is the start of the conference and, if I'm not mistaken, David Crowder is going to be kicking off the day...can't wait to worship with 5,000 other youth workers!

A verse that stood out to me this morning was "Then all the tax collectors and the sinners drew near to Him to hear Him." (Luke 15:1)
The challenge that hit my heart immediately after reading this verse was this: am i hanging out with people who are not like me? am i being intentional about getting to know not-yet-believers? i would have to say no to both of those questions. It seems more and more each day that God is calling me to be in more relationships with those who do not know Jesus yet...

Fill me up Father!
I am nothing without You!
Use me!
Make me more like your Son, Jesus Christ!
and please...Increase my faith!!

Faith Like a Child...

What if we had a literal faith like a child??
What would that look like??

What if we truly believed that Jesus lives inside of us??
What if we seriously believed that concept??
The same God who conquered death, gave the blind sight, and had a love that never ended lives inside of His followers!!!
That thought alone gives me chills up my arm...

Now...
think if we lived out this truth in our daily lives...
what would that look like for us??

I know for me it would mean having more faith...
it would mean living like there is no tomorrow...
it would mean living a radical life...
a life of sacrifice and selflessness...


What do you think?
What would it look like if you had a faith like a child??
What would your life look like if you fully believed that Jesus lives inside of you and is yearning for you to let him take control?? from the inside out...


The apostles said to the Lord "Increase our faith!" (Luke 17:5)

Trying Too Hard..

I think I try too hard sometimes...
I start to think that I need to do things in order for God to be present in my life...
I start to believe that if I'm not being solid in my devos that He can't use me...
I'm starting to wonder now if it's my own fault that I can't feel God at all times in my life...

But alas I remember...
I remember that it is not about me...
it's not about what I've done...or not done
I start to remember that He has everything under control...
I can't change the Creator's plans...
and I definitely can't hinder them...
no matter how bad I screw up...

Thank You God! For always being my God. For giving me the opportunity to serve you through youth ministry. For giving me second chances. For the friends I have that continually challenge me...whether they know it or not...

life in transition...

God is on the move again in my life.
A time of transition is approaching as summer comes to a close.
I'll be living in a new place. A new community.
A new job is on the horizon (even though I don't know where that is quite yet)
And even new ministries may be down my alley.

God I ask for Your wisdom. I ask that you would guide my decisions and keep my mind clear.
I give You full control! And I ask that Your will be done, not my own.
You are an amazing God and I thank you for this season of my life!!

my prayer this Sunday night...

God!
Sometimes I don't know what you're doing...
Sometimes I think this isn't a good idea...

But I know You have everything under control...
I know You have a plan...

I ask that You speak through me to these kids...
I ask that these kids would see You and not me...

Give me passion!!
Give me energy!!


Let Your will be done!
not mine..

the summer so far...

It has been a very interesting summer so far.
It started out with a lot of expectations and a lot of energy.
We're just about half way through the summer and already so much has happened.
There's been a road trip from California to Michigan with Chrissy.
A camping trip with my camp kids at Camp Geneva.
An awesome 4th of July weekend.
Camp Rock (mon - thur)
Good times with family and friends the whole time as well.

This summer has definitely been full of "unexpecteds"...
It seemed that many things this summer were going to be as close to perfect as possible..
but God has proved my assumptions wrong again...

I seem to always get caught up thinking that my life is supposed to be easy and always the way I want it.
Then God always seems to smack me in the head and say, "Joe! you know this is not about you right? I have everything under control. Stop thinking you know best! because you don't."

I am still working on remembering that God knows best and that I am always in need of a little more faith.

Hope you all are having a great summer so far.

Keep seeking the Kingdom first!

Joe

One flight and one lady's story...

The first part of my trip out west was an interesting one. I was running on 3 hours of sleep and feeling a little sick. But God placed an elderly woman in the seat next to me and my curiosity got the best of me. I asked her a few questions and I ended up hearing her life’s story before we landed in Minneapolis. She shared about her family mostly and how she hadn’t seen her son in 16 years before this trip. She was such a happy lady and she found so much contentment in the simple things of life. She didn’t brag about having money or a fancy car or the newest cell phone or anything, instead she boasted about her relationships and the people she loved. All I did was listen; I maybe said ten words total the whole flight, all of that listening made me wonder though…
What am I boasting in?
What am I finding value in?
In school?
In my job?
In my relationships?
In God?

It was obvious that this older lady valued her relationships, as that is all she talked about.
I pray that I value my relationship with God the same way that lady valued her relationships with her family. I hope that it’s obvious that I am His child and that I love Him more than I love myself.

my prayer for tonight...

God,
I thank you for this life you have given me...
You are such an awesome God...

I pray for my friends...
Guide and direct their lives...
provide for their needs...
speak to their hearts and be real in their lives...
convict their hearts..

I pray for my family...
Help my family be humble...
give them the strength to get through the day...
work in their hearts...
open their minds...

I pray that you will help my faith grow...
Help me grow into the man you've created me to be...
Help me love others, because I know I can't love them on my own...


I love you Father!
You are so good!
I don't know how I've done it without you before..
You are our all in all.

Amen.

the first night back...

The first day back home has been an interesting one...

It was good to be with my family and just hang out with them for most of the day...

but then I was reminded of the darkness that this house has...

It's like i can sense that Satan has some control over certain people in my family...

and that is tough for me to see...
and hear...
and it's tough for me to remember...

I don't like remembering...

but at the same time it's so awesome to see where God has taken me from and put me today!



Thank you God for what you've done in my life,
may you do the same for my family...

the weekend that was...

It's been a wild last week in my life..

I went from thinking I had an internship to not having an internship to being jobless for the summer to all of the sudden being offered a job I already declined earlier in the year to taking that job...

It's crazy what can happen in a week...

Last weekend was pretty intense for me...
I fasted 2 out of 3 days and was in constant prayer the whole time...
I was searching for God to speak..
And He did...
I had to sit in solitude for like 3 hours just meditating on The Word...

I did things this weekend I usually don't do and I had faith that God would speak...

These are just some things that I put in my notebook throughout the weekend...

----------------------------------------

I crave the easiest path through life, but I yearn for my Father even more.

Am I willing to serve God no matter what? Even if I feel uncomfortable? Even if it's not my first choice of service?

Am I willing to simply love the people God places in my life? Or am I trying to choose which people I want to love?

"God has always connected our relationships with Him to our relationships with one another." - Francis Chan

Joshua 1:9

"As you conquer your territory... do not be alarmed... these things must happen...His plan is taking place" Pastor J.R. Pittman

God's will is not my will sometimes. Why do I think I need to be comfortable in order for it to be God's will? Maybe because for so long I've been comfortable in my surroundings. I asked God to stretch me and this is how He is doing it, by making me feel uncomfortable, by making me step out in faith.

Being uncomfortable = using my faith
Am I really wanting to use my faith??

Joshua 1:9 (again!!)