Reality Is Sinking In

Today has been a rough day. I woke up with great expectations for the day, but those soon vanished. I had some homework to do followed by some classes. After I got out of my class at 2:30 I hit reality.

I soon found myself back to my old habits of listening to music in my room(even though it is a different room this time) and acting like nothing is wrong. When I actually I was depressed. I found myself hurting myself(I don't understand how that happens either). Everything I thought that I was doing right I was doing wrong.

I don't like being single. I don't like being alone. I have too much time to sit and think.

And I know all of you are saying "find something constructive to do" but I feel like I have no reason to do anything anymore.

I don't care about my grades anymore. I'm sick of being here. I have to see her around school and everything but I'm not supposed to care about how she is doing. I'm not supposed to ask any questions or act interested.

I'm still broken and I know that God can use me in my brokenness, and I hope He does.

God's Will be done!